The bulk of this was written a few nights ago when I was exhausted, sad, and letting myself have emotions. The portion after my signature was written just before posting. Starting tomorrow I will be posting what I'm reading, and if something is particularly amazing, I'll review it. I will at least indicate if it meets one of the below mentioned challenges. Happy New Year readers.
Sorry to have been so absent the last few weeks, I got a bit turned around with how quickly everything's flown by this month. This year really. It felt like just last week I was making a post about a book club and suddenly, it's the end of the month. You know how you get lost in a book? The sort of lost where you feel like Alice falling down the rabbit hole, heels over head, spinning around, then suddenly blinking and realizing you've lost so much time between the pages of a book that you forgot what day it was; that's how I've felt for much of this year.
This blog started as a project, something to do in my down time, and a fun way to record what I've read over the past year. I was so ambitious and ready to write these epic and amazing posts where I detailed everything I loved and loathed about the book, I'd have all these hyperlinks to everything I'd referenced and I'd make notes about what book fit what challenge and feel so accomplished for checking something off my list. And then my dad died. And I don't think I really read anything for a while, not the same way at least.
To say that I got distracted would be dishonest and an understatement. I went numb. Making sure my mother was okay, maintaining my job, trying to put on this happy face and keep commitments to publishers who really didn't even know who I was. Reading lost the sparkle for a while, and it is barely coming back going into the new year. Everyone always makes these grand resolutions that no one ever really keeps, and I so desperately wanted this blog, this project to save me from what was really going on around me, to save me from what was really going on inside my head.
My mother moved in with me in October, and I got my own office/reading room/library/study that I absolutely love. For a second I thought that I could get back on track, catch up with what I wanted my posts to be, have them become something special again. That's never happened, but I like to think that with the new year, all of it will come back. The spark, the sparkle, the everything. I know it won't, but aren't resolutions really all about pretending?
I know that in 2018 I will read books, and I know that there will be times when I simply can't, or when I'm reading just to save myself even only for a moment; I probably won't stick with a single reading challenge, just like this past year, but I'm putting the effort into making the lists because it feels like a more attainable goal that way. Sort of like a vision board that eventually becomes a dart board.
2018 won't be the year that fixes everything, it won't be a better year than 2017, but it will be a different and new year. I'm going to be a different and new reader. I just hope that we can all stay around for the ride.
P.S. I did still plan for the Pop Sugar challenge, the Book Riot Read Harder Challenge, a Litsy challenge for fans of My Favorite Murder (still missing books endorsed by Karen and Georgia!) and the Planner Girl Book Club bingo challenge. Tomorrow I'll set a goal on Goodreads, and start reading again.